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• The Need:

  Infidelity is epidemic with conservative estimates that 60% of men and 40% of women will have an extramarital affair; 40% of marriages that end in divorce do so because of marital infidelity. While devastating for all, an affair can be the most important event that ever happens in a marriage if it is used as a defining moment to grow as people and evolve the relationship.

  The good news is it’s possible to learn how to love and design a relationship of one’s choosing even after the affair. Surprised by Love shows readers how!

  A person is entitled to receive from love only in proportion to what they contribute to it. Soul mates, what many in pursuit of infidelity presumably seek, are created, not found. True love has nothing to do with finding the ‘right’ person to love us; it is always about becoming the ‘right’ person capable of love.

  Affairs will either destroy you or grow you up, and which it does is always a choice. The power of love is limitless and it is only within discovering that power that healing and relationship transformation is realized.

• The SBL Difference:

  Surprised by Love is changing the conversation about love and intimacy and what is really possible in relationships when they fail.

  The only book in the marketplace told in two unique voices living the experience of infidelity, the unfaithful partner a licensed clinician, Surprised by Love shows and tells unlike any other the harsh realities of infidelity and divorce, why and how it occurs, and more importantly, what to do about them when they occur.

  Dr. Jay and Julie have not only lived the experience of affair and divorce, but are willing to tell the nuanced truth about it without spin, censorship or concern for ego.

  Surprised by Love inspires readers with hope and possibility then teaches life-altering truths about modern love and marriage, both the dangers and gifts hidden within it, anchored in a compelling real-life story.

• Five Essential Facts:

1. Monogamy is actually a myth. Conservative estimates are that 60% of men and 40% of women will have an extramarital affair.
2. Work can be hazardous to your health! 46% of unfaithful wives and 62% of cheating husbands had an affair with someone at their job.
3. Affairs can happen in good marriages. Affairs are less about love and more about sliding across poor boundaries.
4. You can have an affair without having sex. Often the greatest betrayals happen without touching. Infidelity is any emotional or sexual intimacy that violates trust.
5. People cheat for different reasons: Woman who have affairs do so because of marital dissatisfaction seeking emotional connection; Men who cheat are often looking for excitement by novelty and sexual conquest.

FAQ’s

1. What was your relationship like from the onset?
2. Did you think you had a good marriage?
3. What led to the demise of your relationship?
4. Dr. Jay, how did you get involved in an affair? Was it premeditated?
5. What were each of you thinking during the affair? Being a licensed clinician Dr. Jay, how did you justify this behavior?
6. Julie, how did you learn to trust Jay again? Do you ever have doubts now?
7. How does a marriage survive an affair?
8. What steps can someone take if they’ve walked through infidelity to begin healing their relationship?
9. What are some ways a person can “affair proof” their marriage?
10. What does it take to have an extraordinary relationship?

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Listen to the Podcast HERE